Emotion Regulation: Improve Emotional Intelligence

“Emotional intelligence” refers to the ability to recognize, understand, and manage one’s own emotions, and it is closely related to managing interpersonal relationships and self-actualization. A person with high emotional intelligence could understand themselves and others better, and communicate more effectively to strengthen interpersonal relationships. Besides, high emotional intelligence can also help with coping with stress, and therefore improving the overall quality of life.

Here are the 5As of skill sets to use for managing emotions:

1. Awareness: Be aware of your thoughts and pay attention to inner dialogues, especially when emotions are unstable. Identify and acknowledge the emotions you are currently having.
For example, noticing that your heartbeat and breathing have accelerated, and acknowledging that these are emotional reactions of anxiety.

2. Articulation: Using appropriate vocabulary and ways to accurately express feelings will help identify and validate our own emotions.
For example, telling yourself internally: “I feel disappointed and depressed.”

3. Analysis: Analyze the cause of the feeling and evaluate whether it is reasonable or overdemanding. Objectively assess the situation and respond to it appropriately.
For example, knowing that because the plan did not go according to your expectations, you feel very disappointed and angry. But at the same time, you understand that you are upholding a very high self-expectation.

4. Action: Avoid dwelling on emotions and divert your attention to mindful activities or focus on work or studies. Go for a walk or listen to soothing music to relieve pent-up emotions.

5. Accountability: Avoid being trapped in the loop of spiraling emotions and learn to take responsibility for our own thoughts and behaviors. Keep in mind that you are the master of your emotions.

Whether it’s being aware of or articulating our emotions, or trying to evaluate things from various perspectives, these techniques all require constant practice to become proficient. When we can follow the 5As in response to unstable emotions, we are making space between trigger and reaction, so that we can face pressure or adversity more calmly.

If you would like to learn more about emotional regulation, please contact WACC and make an appointment with our counsellors; we are here to listen when you are ready.