Navigating Family Relationships During the Transition to Adulthood
However, family can be one of our important social support systems. Maintaining harmonious family relationships not only provides emotional support, but can also serve as a backbone for our studies and personal life. If you’ve had a strained relationship with your family, you may not want to focus on mending the rift immediately. Instead, you can try to prevent the situation from deteriorating further.
If you wish to maintain or improve your relationship with your family, but don’t know where to start, you may want to consider the following suggestions:
Engage in Active Communication, Build the Foundation of Mutual Understanding
You can try to actively share the bits and pieces of your university life with your family, rather than having superficial conversations only. Tell them about the fun things, challenges, and achievements you have experienced in your university, such as sharing your experiences in classes and your study stress. Through sharing these concrete pieces of time, they can have a clearer understanding of your life and a better grasp of your situation, and thus knowing how to provide appropriate support. Proactive communication creates a strong foundation for improving relationships.
Listening and Understanding
When facing family conflicts, one should avoid overly emotional expressions. The most important aspect of communication is to help the other party understand your feelings and needs, rather than forcing them to change. We should try to maintain a calm and rational attitude when communicating, using “I” statements to express your feelings, such as “I feel…”, instead of accusatory “You…” language. This can help reduce the escalation of conflicts and promote mutual understanding and empathy. At the same time, try to consider the problem from the other party’s perspective, focus on each other’s feelings and needs, which can help resolve the frictions and misunderstandings in daily life.
Expressing Care
When you are busy with academics, socializing, and other activities, try to set aside some time each week to check in on your family. Instead of only expressing care on specific holidays or special occasions, make an effort to show constant care, which shall make them feel valued and loved. You can also try to regularly engage in activities with your family, such as watching movies or cooking together, to strengthen the connection between each other.
If you struggle with family relationship, you are welcome to make an appointment at the Wellness and Counselling Centre to talk with our counsellors.